There is a point that comes in every 18-month olds life who is in the 90th percentile for weight and height where the clothes you have been wearing no longer fit. At least, that is what mom thinks. Dad, however, says otherwise. They sit on the couch going through clothes from the 18-month-olds drawers figuring out what stays and goes.
It’s so political
It’s like two sides of congress arguing
It’s a test of wills
It happened in our house tonight.
While Jax was taking a nap recovering from a very busy and long day his mother, Stacey and I were in the living going through his drawers and freshly washed clothes. There were garbage bags and separate piles. Piles of clothes that were being sold to thrift stores, clothes that were being donated, clothes we were keeping because they still fit and clothes that are being kept for a sentimental reason.
Anyone watching might think were debating our political wills, balancing the budget or deciding what’s going to be on our pizza. Ya know….intense things. But we’re not.
“These don’t fit him anymore,” She says
“define fit,” I say
“They are too short on the bottom,” She says
“According to what. I don’t want his pants dragging on the ground like some slob,”
“Michael, they go above his ankle and are tight in the crotch,”
“He just wore them the other day and they fit fine.” I fire back
“They are too small and he has new jeans. He has 10 pairs of new jeans now,”
“Why does he need that many jeans. I have two pairs of jeans. Wait, why is that shirt in there? He just got that and only wore it like 5 times.”
“Michael he got that last summer and didn’t wear it because it got cold. It’s 18 months he wears 2t now.”
“My mom bought that for him, I don’t think he got her moneys worth out of it,” I think to myself. “I think it still fits, we should keep it,” I say.
“it doesn’t fit; his belly hangs out.”
“He’s not even 2 I think it’s ok if his belly hangs out, he only wears it at home anyways.”
“it’s not okay.” Then I get the look
I don’t buy her justification
She doesn’t buy mine
I’m going for coffee……
It’s not that I am cheap or that I don’t want my son having new and nice clothes but I am a firm believer in wearing shit till its dead. I buy a pair of new jeans, maybe 2 every year. New sweaters every 3 because lord knows the fashion industry can’t keep making sweaters I like wearing every year. I’m like a girl, I’ll keep clothes I bought 6 years ago because I might fit in them again someday……
Hey, I might!!!! You don’t know!!
This happened once before, at the end of last winter I think. Stacey went through and sorted out all the clothes he didn’t fit in (so says her) then after she goes to sleep I go through the bags and pull out clothes that do still fit (So I say) and then inevitably she finds them weeks or months later and says, “I thought I got rid of these?”
“Oh yeah, you probably should I think he outgrew them.” Fist in the air
You wouldn’t think, as a dad, as a male and the sexy apex predator that I am that I would do such a thing. But I do. In fact, it’s 3 am and she is asleep. I think I have some bags to go through.
Self-five. Melville ooot.