It Must Be A Mom Thing

Is it a mom thing

Before I was a parent, I often heard parents talking about their children’s upcoming first birthday parties. I would listen to these parents plan and spend money on what I can only describe as extravaganzas. My son, Jax, will be having his first birthday party this weekend. Apparently, I have dubiously fallen into this same category of parents.

Before I was a parent, I had heard people say that a “child’s first birthday is a bigger deal to the parents.” I had no clue how true this was before we started planning his party last week. Today we went to Party City and spent far more than what I expected we would. I’m not really complaining, don’t get me wrong. It just shows that during this whole process of birthday planning there is a stark and distinct difference between Stacey and me when it comes to the birthday and what it should be. She was in her glory it seemed. It made me wonder if this is a normal thing between mothers and father when it comes to birthday parties.

Personally, I would be okay with inviting the usual family and friends and just having cake, ice cream, singing happy birthday, doing the whole birthday present thing and calling it good at that. I think this because, in my mind, Jax will have hardly any idea of what is going on, why these people are around and have virtually no memory of his 1st birthday. So why make it a big deal? I have been told this not correct, however by just about every mothers I have talked with about it. Are there other dads who feel the way I do?


It’s not just a birthday it’s an event

Instead of doing things my way for his birthday I have stumbled into a virtual extravaganza. We have decorations, party favors, candy, two different cakes, 70 people invited, hot dogs and chips, things for the other kids to do that come and maybe even a professional photographer. It just seems like a lot for his first birthday.

This all would make sense if it was his 8th birthday or something and we had friends and family coming as well as kids he goes to school with and their parents (a sudden realization THAT extravaganza will happen eventually just hit me hard). I am still unsure of feeding people at something like this outside of the cake. Maybe I should ask my mom if she did this for me or my sisters 1st birthday.

I was just reading a survey I took on a and out of 143,251 votes 26% of parents spend more than $500.00 on their kids first birthday with food being the biggest expenditure. 42% of the people polled invited a larger group of people including their family, friends, and other kids. In fact, less than 10% of those polled just had immediate family at home for the part. I guess I do not feel so bad now.


Don’t get me wrong. I want my son to have a great 1st birthday, but clearly, this is a bigger deal to Stacey than it is to me. Clearly this is one of those epic mom moments.

Maybe that is just the way it is supposed to be and if it is then that is fine if it makes her happy. I love both of them too much to say no.

Maybe this is one of those moments that are just as important to a new mother as it is for the kids.


Maybe that is one of those things that I need to just except as a father and enjoy it while having the debit card ready. J


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