C-sections, Love and my Son

We went into the hospital expecting and prepared for an induction. Through a series of informed choices I found myself holding Stacey’s hand while she was lying on an operating table having her second major surgery. A horde of intense doctors and nurses surrounded her and for as big of man as I am I felt out of sorts. I felt like I should be helping if that makes sense. This surgery was to have our son taken out via a C-section. It wasn’t an emergency surgery and we had a few hours to prepare but nothing can prepare you for seeing the woman you love and want to spend your life with laying there being cut open. Nothing prepared me for what happened after.

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I have arrived peasants!!!!

The staff at St. Mary’s hospital was great from the very start. They did an amazing job of keeping us informed and comfortable while we waited. I will say it was one of the most nerve wracking and lonesome feeling I’ve ever felt as I stood outside the waiting room alone, all dressed in surgery gear waiting to get the ok to come into the room and support Stacey as our son was brought into this world. Rules being rules made it so I had to wait about 15 minutes.

I finally was let in after what felt like an eternity and I see her looking at me smiling and she says, “Hey baby”. Her arms were stretched out, a sheet over her chest. I was told to sit on a stool next to her. I kissed her on the forehead gently. She couldn’t see what was going on south of that sheet and could not feel much either; which was a good thing. She looked so sweet and beautiful as she tried to hide the bit of fear I knew she was feeling. We both were and I was the only one of us that could see what was going on.

Several minutes later, quicker than it seemed and slower as well if that makes sense we heard a loud, angry scream coming from the other side of the sheet. It all happened so fast that sometimes I feel like it was a dream but I remember thinking, “That’s my son”. The operating OB lifted him over the sheet and showed him to us before moving him to the other side of the room to begin cleaning him up. Stacey and I looked at each other and we both were crying. She had that look I’ve heard about that women get at that moment when they official become a mother. When they see and hear their baby for the first time. A few minutes later I was called over to meet my son. It took my mind off the fact Stacey’s stomach was wide open.

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I went over the warming table and there in front of me was the most beautiful (and loud) baby I have ever seen and yes I know I am biased. I grabbed his hand and he wrapped his finger around my mine while the nurses checked him over. It felt so amazing, so natural and I felt so much….pride, that don’t even know how to explain it here. I was told long before this it’s a feeling and something you won’t understand until it happens. They were right.

After a few minutes I was able to hold my son, Jax Michael, (all 10.4 lbs of him) for the first time and bring him over to meet his mother for the first time. Seeing them meet, the way Stacey looked at him and the love just beaming from her eyes made me fall even more in love with her. It was then that I realized I found a level of happiness I never believed in or expected that I would ever find.

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