The Kiss video and the Mystery of “The Spark”




“I just didn’t feel a spark when we kissed”

We all have heard this warped line and either bought into it or just accepted it. I have been told this line a few times over the years and always thought it was a load of crap. I know many other guys who have heard the same and thought the same thing. Sadly I have even heard a few female friends of mine use this line and I always turn my head in shame that I even know them. The “spark” is bull and is made up but the kiss…well that could be something different.

I have read and heard than many women will judge a guy based on their first kiss and how well he kisses. The idea that the quality of a relationship can be summed up and judged based on 1 single kiss sounds slightly ludicrous. That being said I do think there could be something to that first kiss but I think that its changes for everyone and there is no sand in the line rule.


Today I was fiddling around on Facebook while Stacey and I had lunch after our baby doctor appointment. Two friends of mine posted a link to short film by Tatia Pilieva. The film is called First Kiss. The premise of the short film is a group total stranger’s divided up into couples and filmed as they kiss for the first time. Some are men and women, men and men and women and women, they very in race, age, looks and ethnicities. None of these people knew each other apparently before taking part in this and met as filming started. First Kiss is an amazingly powerful video and beautiful all at the same time. It does a good job of showing the raw and nervous emotions that go into that….first kiss.

Check it out: First Kiss

First Kiss made me think about something though when it comes to that first kiss and that mysterious “spark”. If so much is weighed on that first kiss why take so long to get to it? If a women (which is usually the case) is going to base a potential relationship on that first kiss, judge the other person on that first kiss, the possible spark and such. Then why waste her time? Why waste the guy’s time or why waste the other gal’s time with weeks or months of dating before you get to it. Why not just meet someone and if there is a remote attraction set up a date for a drink or coffee (or not) and before anything is said other than the first hellos and before drinks are drunk just…make out for a few minutes.

Here is the scene I envision. It’s like a choose your own adventure for grown-ups:

Guy is dancing alone at the disco. Girl is dancing alone at the disco. Guy and girl each have a drink in their hands as they have brief but sexy moments of flirtatious eye contact.

Guy walks slowly towards girl. Girl walks slowly towards guy. They meet half way and drop their drink and meld into each other’s arms. No words are spoken. Their lips and tongues are mashing, pressing, pulling and sucking. Their hands are groping, rubbing and caressing.

Now Choose:

  1. A.      They stop after a few minutes, go and sit down for a drink or 5 and who knows what after
  2. B.      They smile politely and walk away; never to speak again.


Both feel kinda hot….kinda sexy…kinda romantic…a little naughty. Are we moist yet?


Stacey and I

It’s just kissing right? It’s not sex and there is no real commitment at stake and no one is getting hurt in the end. If the spark is so real and such a big deal and if women REALLY think they can judge a guy and a potential relationship based on that first kiss then what is the harm? It gets a whole lot of bullshit out of the way it seems. If it goes bad then you both move on and find someone else to kiss. Could this be a dare I am making? Maybe I don’t know. Or it could be me calling a women’s bluff on the whole “spark” mumbojumbo. If you think that “spark” is real and is such an important thing then….pucker up and prove it or stop taking about it and stop using it as a cornerstone in your relationship decision making processes.

The only thing missing from the video was fat people. I would have liked to have seen a larger person (my size) kissing someone….I guess…model pretty and the sex’s varied. It would have been an interesting social experiment.


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