Crying Kids and eating out…I’ll explain it to you like you’re 5




People take kids out to eat. It happens. The restaurant is a place to eat just in case you didn’t know.

NOW I will tell you what it is not….just in case you were not aware.

– It is not your personal day care.

-it is not you kids preschool.

-it is not the play zone in the middle of the mall where you can just let your kids do whatever the fuck they want.

-it is not the kid’s grandparents’ house.

– It is not their room.

-It is not your home.



NOW I’ll tell you what a restaurant is.

-it is a place where people go to eat.

-It is a place for people to enjoy a meal out of the house.

-It is a place where people go to enjoy the experience of food together.


NOW I’ll tell you what ruins it for everyone.

-When you are yelling at your kids.

-When your kids are yelling at you.

-When your kid is yelling.

-When your kid is screaming.

-When your kid is crying.

-When your kid is running around the restaurant like it belongs to them.

-When your kid is throwing toys and/or food all over.

-When your kids are being rude and you do nothing about it proving how bad of a parent you are by allowing your child to act up in public.


Check this out


What you should do if anything from the previous list is going on.

-LEAVE!!!!!! ….every single fucking one of you. Go home until your kid learns manners and how to act in public. At the very least go outside until your kid calms down and you learn to be a parent that has an iota of control and respect for others. There is nothing more annoying and sad then a parent who just lets their kid do whatever it wants in public. And before you say, “well mike obviously you’re not a parent you just don’t know”….1. When my niece occasionally acted up in public when she was very young I would do EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING. 2. I am, in fact, going to be a parent and will do exactly what I am saying now.  Being a parent or not a parent doesn’t excuse bad manners when eating out and you don’t get a free pass just by virtue of being a parent.

I know… it’s such a simple idea isn’t it that it’s just beyond the comprehension of many people. You don’t like the dirty looks, judging faces and shitty remarks? Guess what? The only one to blame for this is you. YOU are in fact ruining everyone else’s meal. Don’t give the excuses because there are none at least any that hold any weight. If your kid has some issues which cause them to act out emotionally I DO GET THAT. But at least have the decency to respect everyone else in the place and leave so they don’t have to put up with it. People have patience but only so much. It’s YOUR job as the parent to deal with your kids acting up for whatever reason. It is NOT the job of the other people eating or the people working where you are eating at. This is America and most Americans tip like shit and I am sure most peoples tips don’t reflect obnoxious and crying kids.I don’t care if it’s McDonalds or some fancy 5 star restaurant they don’t belong.  What do you think?




I wrote this blog about 2 weeks and go and I was watching NBC news out of Chicago and they had a news story that is causing quite a bit of controversy about this very same subject.


This one is about a family who’s kids were acting up and were kicked out of Applebees


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