As a writer, whether we are extremely talented ones or relatively new ones and improving like me, we are torn in many different ways. We sneak writing in when we can a midst the insanity of our “normal” and everyday lives. Some of us are lawyers, mothers, and fathers, grandparents many of whom work full or part time jobs and balance the responsibilities of that. For some like me who is a 34-year-old full time college student, which has its own difficulties and time requirements. In addition to that I am working part time in a great little diner, I do my best to write where, when, and what I can. Sometimes it is a few pages, sometimes it is just a paragraph or less and sometimes when I want to write the most…nothing is there or I am just damn tired. Marketing my first novel Running Northwest has fallen on the way side more than ever wanted it to. I have not done nearly enough and am having trouble finding the time. Even if I found someone else to do THAT part and could rely and trust him or her, I would still have all the other stuff to deal with.
Slowly I have surrounded myself with other writers some established and others who are newbies, where I was over a year ago who are either working towards or getting ready to put out their first novel. I do my best to impart what wisdom and knowledge I have learned since the first edition of Running Northwest was published in March of 2012. I know some things I have not yet put into practice, made many mistakes and errors along the way and still have a vast amount to learn and would never say otherwise. Anyone who is an indie knows the rules and quirks change often…and its tough to keep up usually.
I have watched a relationship that mattered more to me than anyone realizes (or bothered to ask) sputter into a black hole and I lost my dog (another blog on that later maybe). My world outside of the diner is an unorganized pile or craziness. I have had trouble balancing college with time for writing and have come up short on both. I am to the point now with college and my program and just about ready to walk away…..but I won’t!!! I just want to. I have been going full-time nonstop since I started, year round and I am now in my junior year. I noticed last summer that I was starting to feel burnt out mentally.
More than anything to write, just write, not have to worry about school, and ideally work either but unfortunately; I do not have the luxury to not work at the moment. The current book I am working on is going great and I’m really happy with it and where its heading….the writing of it is about as slow as an old man who ran out of exlax…nothing is moving very fast. I miss the old days when I could spend hours on end just writing. I love writing and miss writing as much as what I did and used to…I miss it being simple. I was worried when I started college that it would get in the way of what I wanted most and that was my writing…and it did.
After doing some thinking, I made a choice to take this coming summer off and have no classes at all just work a bit more than I am now…just a bit. I want to learn to market my books and myself better, I feel Running Northwest is a great novel and deserves more attention and marketing than what it has gotten from me. I spent 4 years writing it and if I am not careful, it will tumble into nothing. I want to finish this next one “Man Alone” (working title) and work on getting that ready and out and maybe even the book of short stories I put on hold called “Dog Stories” (working title) which is 80% written…0% edited. I feel like college has become something I have to do instead of it being something I want to do. I just need a break to refocus and get perspective on me and myself and….my heart. I need to just spend a few months being a just a writer, not a student and a writer but just a writer.