Flying on Thanksgiving

So yeah, flight I hate it….really I do…if I had to pick an order of 100 preferred ways of travel…1. Would be driving myself (literally anywhere). 2. Would be the train…I enjoy the train. 3. Would be…..something else and 99. Would be naked on a pirate ship covered in human filth and trash being burned with red hot metal….and THEN 100. Would be flying.

Therefore, I sit here at the Gerald R ford airport in the lovely hamlet of Grand Rapids. Here is how my morning has gone so far as I wait for my NEW plane to leave GRR so I can go to Florida and spend thanksgiving with my mom, sister and niece.

-My dad gave me a ride to the airport….dad drives slow….almost hit a deer.

-On the way to airport I found out my flight was delayed.

Leaving GR

-I only had two cigarettes before going through the security checkpoint (which was surprisingly fast 5 minutes more or less) but got assey with the TSA because I WANTED the full body scan!!!! They were less than impressed and I’m sure I am on list of some sorts now if I wasn’t already…Maybe just the annoying mother fuckers list…..


– I did not find out how long I would have to wait until I went through and then found out why my flight was delayed…wanna know why???

-Well I’ll tell you why…you know those blow up slides that shoot out from the side of the plane if it crashes on the hope someone might be alive enough to use it…..well….the cleaning crew set the one on my original Delta plane off….hence the delay…

-Now I have a new plane….new layover city (Cincinnati)….new arrival time….and a pseudo first class upgrade from Cincinnati to Tampa (if that’s what you want to call the seat I got)

Above the clouds

-Still at Gerald R ford airport and Delta calls me and lets me know my flight was delayed….knew this 45 before hand dumbshits

-Dropped my Iphone juggling my carry-on bag, backpack and removed clothes….Iphone landed face down….

….screen broke….2nd time in 2 and a half weeks….not as bad as last time….but sucks….50 repair charge coming.

-Airport Bar is not open yet…

-Won’t be able to smoke until 2 pm…..(or so I thought until I got to Cincinnati and found out they don’t hate smokers there yet and supplied ample smoking rooms).

..Just got coffee

…really want a cigg

In addition, it’s only Wednesday morning…but at least im 4,000 frequent flyer miles away from free round trip ticket (btw i wrote this sitting in the airport Wednesday morning)



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