Footloose and Fetus’s


oh noooo!

So yeah another bad Hollywood remake…maybe and maybe not. Growing up in the 80’s the original footloose is one of those movies that has become iconic for my age group and the one before. Will it work to remake it without Kevin bacon and Kenny loggins music….I do not know. This one has juilane Hough (Dancing with the stars and country music) and Dennis quaid and….juliane Hough…does anyone else really matter. However, there are a few things I think will play well for this movie on its role towards a  mediocre 30-40 million domestic take.







One being that the people (like me) that grew up with original may see the new one just for the hell of seeing it and seeing if they “killed” the soul of the first one so its gunna make some money there. Now it’s been almost 30 years (1984) since the original came out  and that’s long enough for the young dumb kiddies (like the ones I go to college with) to have never heard of the original. Today I had a conversation with a girl (that I will call fetus) in my Russian class about the movie that went more or less like this:

“So I think I’m gunna go see that footloose movie” –fetus

“You should see the original first” –Me

“There was an original?” –fetus

“(blank stare)…yes in the mid 80’s with Kevin bacon. This is a remake”- me

“Are you sure” –fetus

“Yea pretty sure I was there” – me

“well I don’t know if your right about that, cuz like I heard it was new movie”-fetus

“It is a new movie…a new remake of an old movie”-me

“I don’t know” – fetus

“Then Google you dumb  f#$King fetus and stop talking to me until you’re not stupid” –Me

“Whatever dude….hey can I bum a smoke”- fetus

“FUCK YOU (but in Russian)- me

(BTW this little window licker says stupid things everyday in Russian class…I’m thinking of tweeting her moronic remarks. She is the same one who thought they had a different alphabet in Canada)

My point is that the original Footloose is old enough so the really really young kids to a large degree have never heard of it and a great many other things so it’s new, maybe cool and has cute boys and cuter girls and what not so they might go see it. However, their parents are going to go see it too since many of them conceived these same stupid kids that I have to deal with everyday in the back seat of a car or their parents basement after watching the original on cable. So there is some nostalgia too it for the parents…

“Remember when we were young and drank and had sex. Remember when we had sex after seeing this movie and I did that one thing you like but won’t do anymore”-wife

“Yeah…I’m tired I’m going to bed soon bring me a beer first and my arthritis meds”-husband

“Ok dear”  (as she goes to get him a beer and then Skype’s naked in the bathroom with the 20year old neighbor kid while her husband serfs the net looking for naked pics of juliane hough(from the new Footloose) and commits super sins.

This movie might have something in it for everyone, the young and the older. I think it looks stupid and cheesy and wont partake or ill download it after it comes out on DVD and watch it once…but it’s not worth 10 bucks to see some kids grinding and drinking underage. If I want to do that, I can just go to a Grandville high school football game or walk around the apartments around campus where the kids snort coke, smoke weed  and drink there “kool-aide”  and spread their seed in orgies that make the Romans look like pussycats.

I hate it when Hollywood remakes movies but if they are its good to know they can keep them just as cheesy and awkward as the originals were. It did make me sad to find out there was NO Kevin bacon at all…not even a walk threw apparently which is sad that they couldn’t even get any of the originals actors for cameos of some sort. At least they rens got the sunglasses and his car right for god sake…and they even for political correctness threw in an African American friend for ren in this version….I wonder if he dies first like in all the other shitty cheesy movies Hollywood puts out. And this continues a long held Hollywood tradition of bad but attractive actors in movies…like twilight and many many other…whats next a  Young Guns remake or Ferris buellers day off with that little girl Justine Beiber….IS NOTHING SCARED!!!!

alas no kevin bacon

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