Weddings a funeral and a divorce…..

I went to a wedding the other day with my girlfriend.  And as i sat there watching this little boy and this little girl potentially devote there lives to each other i questioned the absurdity of  the whole thing. The groom and the bride were 22 or 23 but both looked like were still in high school. Now regardless of knowing the little back ground that i do know about them i would not put my money on there whole thing going the distance….why…because of three things which are..

1. There age

2. Lack of career(good ones or otherwise)

3. There age in the world we live in

When your 22 and you went to college and if you manage to graduate  college with a useful degree and can find a job, your still trying to find out exactly who the hell you are, what you are about and what you really want with your life. YOU CANT at 22 definitively say without a doubt I WANT MY LIFE TO BE THIS CERTAIN WAY AND THAT’S THAT, specially not in the world we live in today. And if you say or think that way…. your horribly juvenile and wildly hopeless and the tragic crash you will have someday will be fun for us to watch. Age does not make you an adult and a grown up….life and living makes you that way, and at 22 or 23 you have not lived shit and are in most cases just starting to venture out from the protective teat of mommy and daddy.


But as i sat at this wedding and watched these poor kids lie to each others faces, there family and friends and I  listened to the pure lunacy of speeches from the best man(that involved thanking mom and dad for the booze and expressing him and the grooms mutual love for video games…thus having no life).  And as i watched the awkward way these two dolts kissed  i almost laughed. When the minister pronounced them man and wife and introduced the newly married couple he called them by the brides name which me and my girlfriend found to be horrible true and funny.

I think there should be an age limit to get married, i would say like 27 or 28.  When people get married its supposed to be a union of two  individuals, two souls and two minds.  But when your 22 and basing your limited life  as an supposed “adult” and haven’t figured out who you are as an “individual” how the hell are you supposed to make a marriage and the life of being married work. Two people cant figure out how to be individuals when there rushing into a marriage and the hope of a life together just for sake of doing being certain parts of society says you should or some farce of a religious belief says your supposed to.

I am not anti marriage…don’t get me wrong, I’m sure its fine for some people. But i  AM anti dumb little kids getting married…or maybe i’m just dumb people getting married I’m not sure. But kind of getting back to the point I was making earlier about age, when it comes to marriage and divorce. There are reason people get divorced many many reason i know this first hand. But when a pare of dumb-ass kids with there heads up there asses that have no idea who they are as individuals get married it makes it very hard to make a marriage work. LOVE does NOT equal a happy marriage, its a building block for a marriage. Just because 2 people love each other does not mean there marriage if it gets that far is gonna be all shiny and perfect.  But say two people do get married in there very early 20’s, failing to take the time to be individuals,achieve something or things on there own. So they go forward in life together, being 100% involved in almost every aspect of each others life, achieving no goals on there own but only goals that benefit there life together.

And even if they DID have some small aspect of individuality at the beginning they eventually lose it, giving into life and each others wants,needs, bitches, nags, whims and neediness. They forget any portion of who they could or wanted to be when they were younger, there hopes and dreams went our the door because they got married and were NOT strong enough to stay who they are and still be married.

AND THEN….bitterness happens and anger and resentment…. “i gave that up for you” or “i didn’t do this because of you and i really wanted to” or “i didn’t get to spend any time with my friends and now i don’t have any friends” or “my life sucks and its your fault” and many other very common lines that get thrown out there….and eventually divorce happens and your not even 30, unless you have kids then maybe you make it to 30 but not to far past that. Then your bitter, angry and heart broken for many other reasons. ALL BECAUSE YOU GOT STUPID AND GOT MARRIED TOO YOUNG AND WERE NOT ABLE TO WORK SHIT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM

Oh my the divorce rates are so high… hear that allot, its the war cry of my generation. The reason why more people get divorced now than what they did in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s or even earlier than that is because divorce then was socially unacceptable and religiously not allowed, it was back in the day when people clung blindly to there faith like an 8 year old who just discovered his balls. Women were still taught and expected to live in there husbands shadows and husbands were still told that had to be the manly man and the great provider and the rock of the family. Young married couples were taught they HAD to get married because that was the A goddamn epitome of life and because the fuckin pope said they had to and that was it, then you have to have kids and you get suckered into a forced lifestyle and world because you were not taught any different. Personal growth and personal success were not important but family success and social standing was, how the community you lived in viewed you and your family was a major and pointless goal in life…Basically people stayed together because they were taught and told they had no choice in the matter…..

BUT NOW, because of the change in gender roles and what is socially acceptable and what is not and the economics of the world we live in and how modern marriages work divorce is common place  and accepted. The reason it is common place is because those old social rules and those old school expectations are still being trickled through the young people of today. So they get dumb and get married young because they think that will make life better but instead of suffering threw or settling with a marriage and a life they wake up one day and realize they dont want they GET THE FUCK OUT.

I’m not pro divorce, but i am pro rectifying a mistake and preventing other worse issues. If two kids get married and then as they grow up and get older and smarter and develop minds and interests of there own outside of mommy and daddy’s whims they realize FUCK were not right for each other “what the hell are we doing” or “i want more than this and you for my life”, it sounds shitty and cold hearted but its true. So they get divorced sometimes bitterly and sometimes not so much and go there separate ways and become the people they actually WANT to be… NOT what society and there parents said they SHOULD be. They find happiness instead of bitterness, and real love instead of just playing house and pretending.

Kids need to be taught to find happiness and success individually and on there own terms and not taught to need a spouse to provide that for them. Kids,teens, young adults need to be taught to stand on there own two feet and not cling to a life they are not ready for. Living in this world is hard enough, and it makes it harder by settling down too young before you have a chance to live.

As i said i am not anti marriage… I’m anti not knowing who you are. I made the marriage mistake when i was younger and i learned from it, but i also lost a few years of my life i can never really get back, because i am not the person i was then and i see life from a different way now. Everyday matters and every moment is precious, and you cant get the time back from mistakes you made, you can only learn from them, so think about YOU for a few years, not a “you and someone else”….the “you and someone else” part will come eventually when it is actually right.


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